The Mask
by LoveOnMyMind
Summary: Clare is part of the popular crowd. Her quarterback boyfriend is in a feud with Eli Goldsworthy. Eli is that bad boy that gets the girls except the one he truly wants. Can they uncover the real people underneath the masks? AU.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own degrassi**

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Eli's POV

It was raining again, and I was late to my first class -shocker-. I through my cigarette on the ground I stomped on it with my black worn out converse shoes. I put my lighter in my shoes in case the teachers searched me.

It smelt like rain luckily I was under the tree which shielded me from the wet liquid. I always had an interest with the rain, or probably because I despise sunshine and happiness.

I fixed my leather Jacket as I rushed inside the school so I wouldn't get that wet.

But I needed something to disguise the smell of smoke on my breath so I ate some gum.

I walked the quite halls of this God forsaking place called school….

I ran my hands through my raven colored hair before I entered through the classroom door.

Everyone was in their normal placing the teacher teaching, the girls staring at me waiting for my arrival, my eyes locked onto one girl that actually captivates me.

Clare Edwards.

The Angelic beauty was sitting by the window staring at the rain outside.

The teacher's eyes pierced onto my body, but I never broke my gaze from Clare's beautiful goddess like image.

Her short auburn color hair was curled and she sat there not even noticing me just staring outside.

"Elijah? Late again, how many times have we been over this?" Miss Dawes asked irritably.

Clare's piercing eyes like the ocean looked at me as she turned her head to look at me like the others. I forced myself to look away.

I smirked before I spat,

"It's Eli, not Elijah. How many times have we been over this?" I mocked her.

Clare's face became disgusted before she turned to stare at the lilies outside the window. I didn't let the mental rejection get to me, but it did. She wasn't turned on by my bad boy attitude, like every other girl in this school.

Miss Dawes glare became colder; she was already in a bad mood from the rainy season. I actually enjoy her as a teacher she taught my favorite subject, English. I am in fact really good at school….I just don't care.

"Detention, Mr. Goldsworthy."

I smirked, "Promise to save me a spot?"

I glanced over to Clare; she seemed to be smiling, which made my smirk even bigger in satisfaction. I was glancing back and forth from the teacher and Clare, I never have to worry that Clare would catch me because she never looks at me.

Miss Dawes sighed,

"Such a waste of talent, you truly are an amazing writer."

I almost felt bad.

_Almost._

I was taught to never show emotion.

Ms. Dawes went back to her lesson. I let out a small chuckle under my breath.

I felt someone's stare stinging my back. It was innocent, popular, Clare Edwards wearing her nauseating, jock, boyfriend, Jake's, letterman jacket.

Our eyes meant and were locked onto each other. My heart stopped. It felt like Clare was challenging me. She must me a dominate kind of girl. I smirked and she returned it with a laugh. I could feel my breath quicken, I had to look away.

I looked down then back up at her finding her smiling out the window victoriously.

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…

I was sitting at the "Rebel" table (the reputation it acquired on its own), with my friends Adam, Owen, and Fitz.

We have had each other's back since day one. Nothing or no one can stop us.

I look over to the "Jock" table laughing. They used to bully us. Then one day we grew up and fought back. It's been a never ending feud ever since.

Jake is the worst of them all. When we were younger he tormented me, and one day I learned how to punch back. We hate each other. He makes my blood boil my fists tightened at the thought of him.

His father, Glen is dating my mother, CeCe. I hate having him over for dinner. Jake laughs at me when my mother forces me to grab the dirty plates from the table. Worst of all though and I have no idea why this bothers me the most….

He has Clare Edwards.

The Jock's table is directly right across from _my_ groups table. I can see Jake's arm wrap around Clare's perfectly curvy body pulling her closer whispering into her ear, Clare blushed scarlet red.

I felt the pit of stomach feel an emotion I am not used to.

Could it be jealousy? I am used to sleeping with girls and forgetting about them the next day.

"We need to get them back." Fitz smiled very menacing.

Two days ago the "Jocks" egged our houses.

"We will." I smirked then I added "Give it time."

Owen interjected, "Come on Eli what do you have up your sleeve?"

"Patience is a virtue." It was all I said through my loose lips.

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Clare's POV

Everyone is hiding behind a mask. I hide behind a façade every day I go to school.

My boyfriend's grip was soft; I loved it when he gets in theses moods.

It's when he's drunk is where he is unrecognizable to me.

Jake has that cute boy-next-door look that I _think_ I fell in love with.

I used to be nobody before Jake showed interest in me. I was invisible in the halls. Who knew getting laser eye surgery and chopping my hair off would get me _Jake Martin._

Now I feel like I am somebody when I am with him. Some days I feel like I wish I was Invisible. I feel like I am filling in a role as that popular girl now.

"My dad isn't going to be home tonight." Jake whispered in my ear.

My heart froze; I know exactly where this was leading up to again. I would never say Jake forced me into sex he just highly pressured me. My delicate looking cross around my neck feels like it is stinging my skin.

I remember that night like the back of my hand. I remember crying myself to sleep for weeks after I lost my virginity.

That whole situation is very numb to me now.

"We'll see, honey" I kissed his ear after I whispered it.

My stomach felt sick. Jake still held onto me but turned his head to talk to KC and Drew.

Jenna and Alli were too engrossed into their conversation for me to interrupt with insincere comments,

I turned my gaze to other side of the lunchroom, where the "rebels" sat. Just the thought of me using that stereotypical name for them made me hate myself even more than I do. My eyes locked onto

Eli Goldsworthy.

I loved how theatrical Eli was when he talked. Ms. Dawes has stated many times how such a great writer he is, I want to read some of his work. Is it as dark as his attire?

I know Jake hates him, his father is dating Eli's mother. There was something underneath his bad boy shell and I want to figure it out.

God knows I would never have the guts to actually get to know him.

Our social groups hate each other.

I have a boyfriend; I think I am in love with.

My eyes travelled down from Eli's green jade eyes to his flawless white skin and his lanky body that hinted some muscle.

Elijah Goldsworthy seems like a cocky bastard. I thought for sure he would win the staring contest thing in English today; it surprised me that he looked away first.

It made me even more curious about him than I was before.

I put on a façade everyday so why can't Eli Goldsworthy.

People must think I am this perfectly happy quarterback of the football team's girlfriend.

That's all I am to people Jake's smart girlfriend.

I completely forgot I was staring at Eli Goldsworthy until I saw his signature smirk directing to me. My cheeks started to get hot from my blush.

Flashbacks from this morning came back to my head.

His intoxicating green eyes that now burn in my memory.

His friend Adam, Drew's brother nudged him. I took that opportunity took start talking with Jenna and Alli.

"Have you found your dress for the dance? " Alli's voice sounded excited.

Jenna added, " It's a masquerade!"

"We get gorgeous masks!" Alli squealed.

I already have a mask. I wear it all day

…..

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**...**

**This story is obviously AU. I love Jake's character but in this story he will be jerk.**

** Fitz and Eli are friends in my story. I hoped you enjoyed it.**

** Reviews are highly appreciated. **

**This will probably be a 7-10 chapter story depending on the result.**

**-Thank you (:**

**-Thank you (:**


	2. Chapter 2

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Eli's POV

Laughter was all I can hear from my "practical brothers". I was used to being in Degrassi at night. It has its perk taking the spare key from Principal Simpsons' office. For instance, gluing the entire Jocks locker shut but not after filling it with dirty fish.

"You are a true Prank genius!" Owen said as he finished gluing up KC's locker.

"When you got it, you got it." I scoffed as I smirked victoriously

"You know what I got….your mom." Fitz laughed. Everyone joined in with his laughter.

I shoved him playfully and tried suppressing a smirk back.

"I'll make sure to tell CeCe what you said." My smirk became more potent.

"You wouldn't dare." Fitz challenged daringly.

"Watch me." We both smiled at each other.

As Owen hit Adam with a fish and it turned into a fish slapping war. I ducked underneath the table in the boy's Locker room, only to be ambushed by them. Laughter filled the quite halls of Degrassi. Finally the war stopped and we walked back into the boy's locker room, mishap following like a shadow.

The guys were my family. They were all there for me when my dad died. They understood me.

They know exactly how to cheer me up. I have their back as much as they have mine. Adam and I are the closest in the group. I knew about Gracie and he knows about my dark demons that haunt me.

"This fish smells like crap." Adam plugged his nose as he rubbed the fish all over the football gear lying around. I chuckled darkly as I filled Jake's locker with extra fish.

Fitz was about to fill Drew's locker but got interrupted by Adam,

"Not Drew's locker."

Adam and Drew are the best of brothers….outside of school. At school Drew is a completely different from the Drew Adam and I grew up with. Drew has always been great at sports of course the mindless "popular" group would sweep him up. I understand completely where his protective behavior is coming from; Adam is the most loyal person I have ever meant.

I admire that the most of him.

There was a long pause. I intermittent the silence,

"We better get going."

I walked out they followed behind. I took a deep breath. I am going to miss these High School days.

I want to get out of this town. See the world, just me, Morty, and the rode ahead of us.

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Clare's POV

I felt his hot breathe down my neck.

I wanted to stop I knew he didn't notice my distress.

My eardrums were about to explode from the pounding teenage music.

Red cups were everywhere and everyone was dancing and having fun. This party is just to keep up with the appearances.

I can feel my self-hatred returning. I can vaguely remember that girl that didn't care what others think. What happened to her? I ask myself repeatedly.

Jake pushed his tongue down my throat. I smelt the alcohol. I tried to kiss back but the taste of alcohol lingered in his mouth and I realized we were attracting a crowd. So my lips departed his.

"Come on, Babe." He leaned in again. His plaid shirt had beer spilled on the collar. I have never felt this repulsed from him, in a while.

"You know I am not a fan of PDA." I nodded my head at the people. I can feel some people's eyes penetrating me. No sight of Alli anywhere.

Jake started trying to kiss me again; I pushed him away more forcefully this time. He grabbed my hand, tightly. I can feel my face blush because I started holding the tears back.

"You need to stopppp beinngggg a prudddeee." Jake slurred.

I gave him an appalled look before saying,

"I am going home."

And on that note and I just walked away.

He was too drunk to even comprehend that I left the party.

The tears stung my cheeks as they lightly rolled down my face.

The night sky was darker because the stars were covered by the gray clouds. As I took a step outside I realized it was sprinkling.

_Great._

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Eli's POV

I finally dropped them all the guys off. I turned up the volume of the radio because it was Dead Hand.

My mind started racing again, so I quickly took 3 large breaths to calm me down. I have been diagnosed bi-polar for about 4 months now. The racing thoughts started after my father died. The crazy moods swings started following right after. Others just thought it was my way of dealing with grief, no one including myself thought it was much larger than that.

The raining seemed to be pounding harder each minute.

The window wipers made a 'swoosh' sound. In the corner of my eye I saw this girl walking in the rain with no umbrella. Automatically I became curious about this stranger, as I got closer I realized it wasn't _really_ a stranger.

Clare Edwards.

My inquisitiveness became more heightened. I did a quick mental list in my head whether to stop the car or not. But my mind would get interrupted by the pounding sound of the rain.

My breaks made a screech sound, instantly Clare froze in fear. I rolled down my window and yelled,

"I am not a crazy murder; I go to your school." My lips twitched into a smirk.

Clare turned around at the sound of my voice. Her eyes widen, she probably recognized me.

Clare's crystal blue eyes were red; I think if she wasn't drenched by the rain it would be more prominently more evident that she has been crying.

"I like walking." Her voice was nonchalant.

My smirk became wider.

"I bet you love getting drenched by the rain." I added sarcastically.

"Of course." Her tone of sarcasm equaled up to mine. She kept walking as I drove beside her.

"It's a one in a lifetime chance; my black heart is feeling a little generous today." I glanced between the rode and her.

Clare tried suppressing a laugh, she failed miserably. I have no idea why the sound of her laughter makes my smirk turn into a full blown smile.

"I don't take rides home from strangers, even if you go to my school." She finally stopped walking and she turned to look at me.

"I see your mother taught you well." I chuckled slightly.

Clare's innocently sweet laughter made an appearance and so did my rare full blown smile.

"I have a proposition to fix our problem" I stated.

Clare's clothes were stuck to her skin, it held her womnly curves it made my throat dry and my wandering eyes….wander,

"What's your solution?" Clare sounded amused.

" My name is Eli Goldsworthy, yours?"

"Clare Edwards." She giggled.

"Now we are not strangers, problem solved." I looked intently at her next move.

"You make a valid point." She reached for door handle of my hearse. But before she opened the door she said,

"I am soaked! Is that alright?" she seemed concerned, I nodded at her to show it was completely fine.

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Clare's POV

I told him where I lived and he knew exactly where I lived, we discovered his Aunt is neighbor. _Small world._

My mother would be scolding me for letting someone random take me home. He goes to the same school….but still.

I can't believe I am in a hearse right now. I laughed out loud.

Eli's emerald eyes shot to me, but he gave a smile at the sound of his laughter.

He looks the most handsomest when he is smiling.

"May I ask what is so amusing?" he asked very alluring.

I decided to share my thoughts,

"I don't think I have ever been in a hearse before." I laughed.

"Are you scared?" he asked jokingly but I could sense some seriousness hinted in his voice.

"Nope, I am more interested in knowing why?"

There is no doubt Eli Goldsworthy is very….interesting to say at the least.

He ignored my question.

"I am more interested in knowing why you're walking home in the rain?" he answered.

"I love how you don't answer my question." I said sarcastically. He's not the only one who can be sarcastic.

My brain froze,

"I wanted to go home."

Eli smirked that enticing smirk as he said, "Stop, your overwhelming me with details."

I couldn't help but smile he smiled back. It was a red light so he turned to look at me. My brain couldn't function properly; my knees were going weak even though I am sitting down. I hate how cheesy this sounds but I got lost into his eyes.

"I don't think I have ever seen you smile this much"

Something in Eli's eyes flashed to something different, a moment after I said this. It was a quick moment, it looked like sincerity.

"Your observant." He stated as he started to drive. For once in my life that cocky Eli Goldsworthy was nervous.

"Where you coming home from?" he asked nervously.

I wanted to forget everything about today minus the car ride.

"A party."

My mind went back to Jake; he's probably passed out somewhere.

"Where's your boyfriend?" I saw the white of his fists as his grip on the steering wheel tightened.

"The party." I was emotionless.

Eli glanced at me as he said,

"Jake will get it bad tomorrow." He stated very causally.

"Excuse me?" I genuinely was very confused.

The hearse went to a stop.

"So this is your house?"

….

**Review.**

**Thank you (:**


	3. Chapter 3

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Eli's POV

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"A party." Clare's eyes became frantic and her delicate fingers were messing with the ends of her short hair.

Clare's mind seemed to be anywhere but here. At that moment I remember Jake. Why wouldn't she have him take her home?

"Where's your boyfriend?" I couldn't control my mouth.

"The party." The angel like beauty was emotionless.

I glanced at her avoiding her inciting eyes and said,

"Jake will get it bad tomorrow." I stated very relevant.

"Excuse me?" She sounded sincerely disordered.

I stopped the hearse. My Aunt's house was next door. I would have gone out to say hello to all my little cousins, but it was way too late to visit.

"So this is your house?" I changed the subject hastily.

"What do you mean Jake will get it bad?" I could tell that she avoiding my eyes like I was avoiding hers.

"You better go…." My face hardened.

"Answer me…he is my boyfriend." She whispered when she said boyfriend. For some apparent reason that hurt more than her yelling it at me.

"Clare, our groups hate each other." She's a smart girl why couldn't she understand.

"I don't hate you." She chimed with her melodic like voice.

"Your boyfriend does."

Clare looked down at her hands.

"Please don't hurt Jake."

The moment she said that the little fantasy of her and me…being something, stopped. She's not mine. She will never be mine. Clare is Jake's girlfriend. For once Jake has something I want.

"Do you love Jake?"

"He's my boyfriend." That was all that came out of her lips.

"That doesn't answer my question." I retaliated.

"You never answer mine."

She opened the door, the cold air came rushing in. The cold stung my skin, I love that feeling. I will miss the warmth Clare's proximity brought though. I don't want her to leave, but I push back that thought as far as possible. My walls were about to fall, I need to make them stronger. I will never give anyone that power over me, I don't care who you are….even Clare Edwards.

"Thank you for the ride home" she spat at me. The rain was only sprinkling now. She was halfway up the driveway as I opened my window

"Hey Clare…" I let the sentence drag.

She turned to look at me hope dazzling her eyes that look like the Caribbean ocean. I had to demolish that hope.

"Tomorrow at school we can go back to ignoring each other's existence." I said colder than the air surrounding us.

Her eyes soften then quickly hardened in angry.

"I wouldn't change a thing."

With that she walked inside. I hit my head on the steering wheel. I have always admired her from a far and now that I actually talked to her...everything feels…. I don't know. My mind is started to get all rambled, I can't think a clear thought. I better go and take my medication

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Monday.

Clare's POV.

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Who does Eli Goldsworthy think he is? Why just by ONE conversation he makes me so livid? Why by ONE conversation does he make my heart flutter?

I take a large sigh as I finish putting on my make-up. I put on my red bow headband that matched my yellow floral dress with red speckles on the bottom. I heard honk outside it must be…. Jake.

Guilt filled my inner core. I love Jake. I _think _I do.

I walk downstairs to find my parents gone.

Of course.

They work all the time; I can't remember the last time we sat down for a family dinner.

I go outside to Find Jake opening door with a grin on his face.

"Good Morning Gorgeous."

I gave him a weak smile, the thought of him of him at the party yesterday lingers in my brain. I go on my tippy toes as he bends down to give me a kiss on the cheek.

Eli came to mind….as always.

What does he have in store for Jake?

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School.

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Jake had his arm around me as we walked the halls. In the car all he could do was apologize about last night when I mentioned, I walked home from the party. I didn't indicate his worst enemy took me home.

"You're acting strange, Babe. Are you sure fine about last night? I am so sorry-"

I interrupted him by kissing him. I felt someone's eyes pierce into my back. I pulled away. In the corner of my eye Eli…was walking past me with his friends.

Jake and Eli made eye contact. The whole atmosphere turned hostile.

Eli's glare had more anger in his eyes than I was used to. Eli's eyes found mine and my heart skipped a beat, my eyes quickly adverted away from him.

"I am fine, just filling a little under the weather." I said when Eli and his friends walked past them.

I am not completely lying; I did get a bad cough from walking in the rain.

Alli and Jenna walked up to us, right on time. Every day is the same.

"Do you mind if we take Clare away?" Alli giggle.

"Promise to give her back?" he twirled me around and gave me a light peck on my lips. My friends' faces were obviously in pure delight at the sight of my "perfect boyfriend".

My mind was burning with the memory of Eli's emerald eyes. I gave out my _masked_ laugh.

Alli and Jenna linked arms with me as we were about to walk to health class.

"Clare!" Jake called to us.

We turned around; I was tempted to keep walking.

"Yes?" I tried to sound pleasant but my tone came out fuzzy.

"Would you like to have dinner with my dad and his….girlfriend tonight?" I understood it was hard for him to say girlfriend. Memories of what we used to be came rushing back. My eyes softened, as I unlinked from Alli and Jenna and I swiftly went over to him and kissed him fully on the lips.

"Of course I am always there for you." He smiled and I returned it.

I walked over back to Alli and Jenna. They started to squeal and go on and on how perfect Jake and I are. I smiled and nodded through half of it.

"We need to go dress shopping soon for masquerade next Friday!" Jenna smiled. I let out a cough.

"We should!" Alli joined in

"I have no idea what I want." I was only half listening…I wanted to be anywhere but here.

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Lunch

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"Where are our boys?" Jenna asked searching for them.

My eyes were glued to Eli across the room. I was still trying figure out what he was doing to Jake.

I couldn't control my mind from thinking; I wasn't worried about Jake to a certain extent. I was more worried about what Jake will do to him when he finds out. I don't think Eli knows what Jake is capable of.

Alli was fixing her hair and was about to say something,

"Maybe they are-" she got interrupted by a loud scream from Jake

"GOLDSWORTHY!" I could recognize that voice anywhere….it was Jake's. He and his friends were carrying their football gear.

Eli's infamous smirk was observable to everyone. I watched them like a mice watching a venomous snake fight against a lion.

"Let's get closer" Alli whispered, but her whisper was just as loud as regular people talking.

My heartbeat was erratic.

"Yes? Martin?" Eli's cocky calm voice infuriated Jake. The football team's gear smelt of old fish. I covered my noise and others groaned. Eli's friend high fived each other and laughed. Found out his plan.

"You know exactly what." Jake said as he stepped closer to Eli they were face to face. Jake was only a few inches taller than Eli, but Eli still looked just as menacing.

Jake grabbed Eli's collar and pulled him up. Eli's friend were about to react and the Jocks were ready also. I had to stop it quick. I ran infront of them and pushed them away. They both turned to me. I was out of breath. Eli's eyes softened at the sight of me and turned into worry. That was strange? He is the one who doesn't care about me.

"Clare…" He said so softly only I could hear him. Jake didn't hear he was probably trying to calm down his adrenaline.

Something in the pit of my stomach said I had to save Eli.

"He's not worth it. You can get kicked off the football team for fighting." I clung onto Jake. I glanced at Eli's for a split second he looked hurt and then his eyes flashed back to hostility.

Jake held me closer kissed the side of my head, as we were about to walk away… Jake turned back to Eli and warned

"You'll regret this Goldsworthy." Jake's voice made me shudder.

"Maybe next time your girlfriend won't come to your rescue." Eli's eyes glanced to me, and smirked spitefully to Jake.

Jake smiled and we turned around linked to one and another. I turned back to look at Eli, my eyes were apologetic. Eli squinted he probably was confused at my actions but not as much as me.

My mask is starting to crack.

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**Review.** Pretty please (:

Thank you for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**It's not a repeat of chapter 3, I wanted you the readers to see the thoughts of Eli during the Jake and Eli "disagreement."**

**Thank you. Enjoy!**

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Eli's POV

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Jake grabbed my collar and pulled me up. I was awaiting his next move, and was quickly thinking about how I will have to move and retaliate with a blow to face. I wouldn't let my body flinch, I will take the punch. I was anticipating for his next move….

I smelt a vanilla aroma. Clare ran in front of us and pushed us away. I turned to look at her. Jake and I both look dumbfound at the situation that just played out in front of us.

Clare looked like her breathing was irregular. I couldn't control my eyes that naturally softening at the sight of her. What was this impulsive girl doing?

"Clare…"

I couldn't control my loose lips, it was almost a reaction to me finding out that she is okay, I said it softly that only she could hear. My body does and says weird things whenever she is in a close proximity of me.

"He's not worth it. You can get kicked off the football team for fighting." Clare stuck onto Jake.

I felt hurt, and then I realized I am the one pushing her away. It would save us out of a lot of trouble if she stays the hell away from me. My eyes turn antagonistic.

Jake held Clare closer and kissed the side of her head.

It brought up memories of this morning when he kissed her. I would take a punch in a face from Jake Martin then watch their lips collide.

They were about to walk away. I wanted to yell a snarky smart ass comment. Jake turned back to me, with Clare in arm.

"You'll regret this, Goldsworthy."

I look forward to it, Martin.

"Maybe next time your girlfriend won't come to your rescue."

My eyes immediately turned to Clare. Her face looked frustrated and tremendously wounded. I gave my maliciously smirk to Jake. Jake's light brown eyes couldn't compare to the sparkling blue eyes, he looked boring. How can someone so beautiful love something so…boring.

Jake gave an evil grin, he was amused. The war between us has started the rising action; I have to be smart when it comes to the climax of the war between the Jock and the Goth kid.

I watched the scenario play out in front of me. It was sad, almost like a cliché movie but without the happy ending. The Goth kid wants the super popular girl, but she loves her jock boyfriends.

Clare turned back to look at me, her eyes were remorseful. I was confused, my heartbeat pounding double the amount. She probably felt sorry for me. That must be it.

I felt Adam tap my shoulder. I close my eyes as I take a large sigh before turning to face my friends. Their facial expressions were eager to hear my next call.

"What are we going to do about Jake and his group?" Owen was the only one who finally said something. Everyone relaxed; I guess they were waiting to see who would speak first.

My throat was dry at the thought of Clare protecting Jake. I had to say something…..

"Gentlemen, the war has started."

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…

I was surprisingly early to English. Ms. Dawes was the most astounded.

"Congratulations, Eli. " She gave me a warm smile.

"You called me…Eli."

"If you come to class on time you will get that privilege"

I smirked as Ms. Dawes nodded her head towards me. I went back to coloring my nails with sharpie…black of course.

Ms. Dawes defiantly is my favorite teacher, even though I can be a major smart ass to her. I can see Clare enter the classroom. I didn't have to look up because I could smell her vanilla aroma and her hear her soft laughter. I was tempted to look up and see the cause of her laughter.

She sat at her usual spot by the window. I looked up to find a pair of curious eyes; a smile was plastered on her face. My heart did flips; dammit I hate it when it does that when I see her smile.

"You're on time." She was amused, was I the source of her laughter? That thought made me a lot happier than it should have. Then her facial expression went back to guarded and looked outside of the window. At that second I couldn't control my actions. I got up and I walked towards her and sat in the desk right next to her.

"What happened to ignoring each other's existence?" her melodic voice made my knees weak, even though I am sitting down.

"I have a few questions to ask you."

I tried to make my voice harsh but with when I look at her, I can't bring myself to.

Clare looked hurt at first then she continued to smile. I would give anything just to know what was going through her head at this very moment.

"You never answer mine…now does that seem fair to you?"

She said it so confidently that she almost knew I would ask her to stay. Her confidence probably is one of the reasons Clare…appeals to Jake so much.

"I am very curious about you." I said honestly.

"For you to stay you have to answer all my questions honestly." She added quickly

It doesn't matter what her answer is, I want to stay. That is defiantly a scary sentence for me to think. I am playing with fire.

"You have to answer all of my questions also."

I didn't have to look at her to see her smile; I could practically hear the chuckle that corresponds to her smile.

I smirked at her as the bell rang.

"I take your silence as an agreement." Clare whispered.

She transformed my smirk into a smile.

Ms. Dawes stood up in front of class.

"For the next couple of weeks you will have to write an essay." The class groans as 5 different hands shot up into the sky. Ms. Dawes shushed the class and motioned everyone in the room hands down. Any other day I would have blanked out or I would have ditched and not be here. Today has been a very irregular day.

Finally the noise subsided and Ms. Dawes continued speaking,

"The essay will be about partner…which I will assign to you."

My eyes flickered to Clare.

Ms. Dawes walked up to us immediately.

"Clare, lately you have been lacking in passion." Ms. Dawes paused. Clare lowered her head. Deep down in my core I wanted to comfort her. I hate how soft she makes me feel.

Ms. Dawes turned to me,

"Eli and your writing is very….. wordy."

I knew exactly where she was going, and Clare caught on automatically. I looked over to Clare she looked horrified but like before it turned amused.

"You two will be the prefect partners."

_Perfect partners._

…...

….

…

Clare's POV

…

What will Jake do when he finds out about Eli and our project? He will be extremely upset and when he gets upsets he wants to party…and where there is a party, there is alcohol.

Ms. Dawes was giving examples about the essay…I couldn't pay attention with Eli sitting so close to me. I found myself glancing at his perfection I call his face. I had a strange desire to touch his face.

My eyes travelled down his jawline up to his stunning emerald eyes. His slightly tan skin appeared whiter because it contrasted with his black attire.

"Now you have the rest of the period to get to know your partners." Ms. Dawes said as she sat down by her desks.

Eli turned to me. I quickly look away before he catches me staring at him.

"Well now you have to answer my questions." He smirked.

I blushed and his smirk changed into a smile. If he only knew how my body reacts when he smiles. That turned my blush even redder.

"Hobbies?" I grabbed my notebook ready to write something down.

"Writing, fixing cars, and when I was little-"he let a chuckle and looked into space, he looked sad. I was waiting for him to speak but he didn't.

"When you were little…. what?" I pressed. I was too curious for him to stop.

"It's nothing" he replied his lips making a line.

"You said you would answer my questions." I looked at him intently.

"I didn't say anything." He scoffed.

"If you tell me I will truthfully answer a question of yours."

He moved his side to side, almost like he was weighing the consequences of his actions by telling me.

"When I was little my dad and I would….paint." he said very softly.

"Do you still paint with him?" I asked. I assumed his parents are divorced. Since Jake's dad is dating Eli's mother.

Eli's emerald eyes darkened with sadness,

"No."

"Why?" I wanted to put my hand on his shoulder, but I couldn't.

"That was like 3 questions, it's my turn." With each word his normal mood came back

"Why did you pull that stunt at lunch?" he asked.

Suddenly, I knew he wouldn't ask any "project questions."

"To protect Jake." I _masked_ my voice.

He tilted his head and gave me an inquired look. Did he see right through me?

"You said you would tell the truth." He was fully staring at me now.

"To protect Jake…..and you." I had to look out the window at the familiar lilies outside.

"What do you mean me?" Eli's voice was disordered.

"It's my turn."

…..

…

….

Martin's House

….

…..

I flattened the edges of my skirt, as I wrapped my arms around Jake's waist.

"Don't worry…Everything will be fine." I gave him a peck on the noise.

"What would I do without you Clare?" he smiled.

I couldn't help but feel guilt in my stomach, for associating myself with his enemy.

"Jake, I have to tell you something." My grip on him loosened.

Jake's brows arched in confusion.

"Yes?"

"I am partnered with Eli Goldsworthy for an English project." My heart fluttered when I said Eli Goldsworthy.

Jake's face was pained, worried, and then finally angry.

"If he tries anything I swear I will-" I cut him off with a kiss.

"Don't worry, I won't let him." Jake needs to be more worried about me.

The doorbell rang.

I could hear Glen yell from the kitchen,

"_They're_ here!"

"_They're_ here?" I asked Jake. Jake held me closer.

"The Goldsworthys."

….

**So sorry for so much Cake -_-**

**Next chapter will make up for it!**

**The faster/more you Review, the faster/more i will post**** (:**

**Thank you for reading**!


	5. Chapter 5

...

...

Eli's POV

...

...

I hate going to the Martin's. I don't understand why my mother is making me come tonight.

Cece pinches my shoulder in a loving mother matter. I roll my eyes. She knows I don't want to be here.

"Come on Baby Boy, can you try and be nice or at least approachable?"

I sigh noisily, and give her my sarcastic smirk.

"Did you take your medication?" she asked as she fixes her hair.

"Why?"

"Did you take your medication?"

She asked with more authority in her voice. That tone would be pointless she knows that won't work. She knows I won't listen if you try to force me in to something.

She and my father raised a weird kid; they should expect me to deal with things in a weird way.

My thoughts were surprisingly calm. My mind would usually be racing right now. Maybe I can get better? Then I remember you can't be cured. I will always be bi-polar. No one knows about my…secret. It makes me think,

Did my mom tell Glen? If so. Would Glen tell Jake? And would Clare find out? That would be the last way I would want Clare to find out. I shoo that thought away. I would never have the chance and even if I did. I won't take it.

"No. I don't need it." My voice seemed to be caught in my throat,

CeCe hands me two pills, they were tightly sealed in a plastic bag.

"Use it if you need it." She put her hand on my shoulder; I moved my body away from her, so I couldn't look at her.

I love my mother, though I resent her for dating after my father died. I sound so unbelievably selfish; I hate myself for that. I despise myself. How can I be this cryptic? Especially to the women who gave me life itself. I just cannot handle a man trying to be that "father figure"

I especially don't want it to be Jake's dad. An image of my Dad's smile plays in my head.

I absolutely refuse to make Glen anything to me.

"Why would I need it?" my voice was dark. My mother ignored me as she knocked on the door.

I looked forward my jaw tense.

Glen answered the door…..

Glen smiles at my mother and my mother returns the smile as they go in for a hug. I rolled my eyes; it was 2nd nature around them. Glen pecks my mother's lips, I make a gagging noise. CeCe gives me a glare and Glen frowns.

"Hello Eli."

"Hey." I was emotionless.

CeCe gave Glen an apologetic look. It's not that I didn't like Glen, he actually is an _alright_ guy. There must be something wrong with him though to raise such a monster.

Jake.

Flashbacks of him chasing me in an alley and beating the shit out of me when we were kids were still strongly potent in my brain.

Was Jake forced to come to this dinner? Like me.

"Come on inside, Jake's _girlfriend_ has been cooking all afternoon." Glen wrapped his arm around my mom's. I looked away….

_Jake's girlfriend?_

Is Clare here? My heart started to speed up.

Maybe this night might be better than I thought.

I followed Glen and my mother into the dining room. Jake's football trophies were dominating in the room. The table was set beautifully, obviously Clare's work. The food smelt delicious. Jake face looked disgusted as I walked in.

My eyes locked onto Clare automatically. Her ocean colored eyes were soft they looked vulnerable. The ends of her mouth curved into a loving smile. There is so much more to this popular beauty. I ignored the fact she was holding hands with him. For that second it felt like we were the only two people in the .room

The pills felt like they were burning in the seams of my tight black jeans.

….

….

Clare's POV

…

…

_You can actually feel the awkward in the room_. It got better when everyone was eating. CeCe was absolutely lovely. I don't understand why Jake hates her….

Then my eyes glance up to the reason why.

Eli was looking down at his food, eating. We haven't said a word to each other the whole entire dinner. Why should we? He must have felt my stare because he looked up towards me. My cheeks turned a bright red, this resulting to him having a smirk plastered on his gorgeous face.

CeCe was watching us. Her eyes sparked with curiosity. I held on tighter to Jake's hand.

"Clare, do you and Eli know each other?" Her eyes were emerald, that's probably where he got them.

My body shifted uncomfortably. Jake eyes pierced my skin, I felt awkward. Jake's grip was tense.

"Uhhh…" was the only auditable sound I could make.

"Clare and I are English partners." Eli's smooth voice was so easy to believe. My body became calm again. Everyone looked at me and Eli, I nodded sweetly.

Jake grip became softer. I didn't have the guts to look at him.

I glanced up at Eli. His smirk was still there, I rolled my eyes playfully. Eli raised his eyebrows as he held back a chuckle.

Glen started tapping his glass indicating he has an announcement.

"I have an announcement." Glen smiled.

It was so easy to read people, except for the person who coincidently sat across from me.

Eli.

CeCe eyes held hesitation. My eyes flickered between Eli and Jake. Jake's eyes shot up to his fathers, as did CeCe. Eli let a yawn escape his lips that were sort of bow shaped. CeCe hit him gently, like she was scolding a child who was falling asleep during church. Glen had our attention. I wonder how long he could keep Eli's attention.

"Well firstly I love to thank Clare for the delicious dinner."

My cheeks felt hot. Eli's smirk followed right after.

"Very delicious." CeCe added.

I felt my cheek get kissed from Jake. Eli's smirk vanished right after. Why? It's probably because he hates Jake.

"It's no problem." I smiled making my smile extra sweetly.

"Back to your speech, sweetheart." CeCe urged nervously.

"Haha yes…well….Jake and Eli." He paused, I bet Glen intentionally didn't mean for it to be a dramatic pause. But it was.

Eli started tapping his fingers on the table, I knew he was listening…but he wouldn't dare act interested. Jake on the other hand is an open book.

Glen words were spoken like a leaking faucet,

"CeCe and I are planning on getting married."

CeCe and Glen were obviously exciting and blissfully happy. Jake and Eli's emotion were the complete opposite. I felt sorry for both of them. Jake was speechless as were I. Eli made hell look friendly.

"This is complete bullshit." His voice was enraged. I jumped a little in my chair at the sudden noise.

"Elijah!" he mother rebuke, didn't work. It was strange seeing Eli….so open?

And with that Eli just walked out of the house. It was awkward. It was the different kind of awkward from the beginning. CeCe was tearing up so I got up to comfort her; Jake stared at me like I was the traitor in the situation. I didn't care what he thought.

"Jake…" His Dad's voice trailed off.

"I think I should leave you all to talk." I said as I hugged Jake goodnight, Jake was about to get up to walk me out. I motioned him to sit down.

"It's fine stay." I paused, "Thank you for having me, Glen… and it was nice meeting you, CeCe."

CeCe and Glen wished me a goodbye and apologized to me for the night.

…..

….

…..

I knew it was stupid. My eyes frantically searched for the green eyed boy. I couldn't help myself. I started walking up the street….. There was a sudden breeze it stung my exposed legs. I found the black hearse parked. I knew it was Eli. I walked up to it and saw him, face down on the steering wheel… I wanted to hold him…. And tell him that it is okay. Please don't worry. I knew that wasn't possible. We don't know each other. Why am I so attached? Already?

I decided to keep walking, I could not disturb him. He needed sometime to himself to copperhead on what is happening to his life.

"Clare?"

…..

**I want to thank everyone for the reviews, it makes me smile every time…love you all!**

**I will post more **_**this**_** weekend…so look out!**

**REVIEW. (:**

**And thank you!**


	6. Chapter 6

_***I DON'T OWN DEGRASSI.**_

_**- Slight Sexual context, you were warned.**_

…..

….

Eli's POV

….

…..

"I have an announcement." Glen smiled.

Whoopie freakin dooo, I thought sarcastically. I just want to get out of this place. I was tired of watching Jake and Clare together. I hate how it pains me. It shouldn't, but it does.

My mother looked like she was on edge. Why was she so nervous? I secretly looked at Clare; her eyes would switch off from me to Jake. I stuffed my face with more of Clare's food. This girl must be an angel. I don't deserve her.

I allowed my yawn to be extra loud, CeCe shot me her most annoyed look and she hit me gently. I rubbed the spot she hit me and sarcastically made it seem like she beat me with a bat. This resulted in CeCe hitting me more. I love my mom to death. She is such a gentle woman, what is she doing with the Martins?

Glen better hurry up with what he has to say. He is losing my attention very hastily.

"Well firstly I love to thank Clare for the delicious dinner."

Clare started to blush blood red, she looked so adorable. Adorable? Did that word just come to my mind? I smirked at her.

"Very delicious." CeCe added with the charming Goldsworthy smile.

Jake kissed Clare's cheek tenderly. Automatically my smirk disappeared.

"It's no problem." Clare smiled sweetly. My heart did flips, I swear it.

"Back to your speech, sweetheart." CeCe muttered….she sounded almost anxious…possibly nervous. Now they are catching my interest

"Haha yes…well….Jake and Eli." Glen paused, what a drama queen…hurry the hell up and spit it out, Glen.

I unconsciously started tapping my fingers on the table, I was actually curious on what he has to say. My mind thought of the worst case scenario.

CeCe wouldn't do _that _to me? I glanced at Jake out of curiosity , he looked just as curious as me… I am just better at hiding it.

"CeCe and I are planning on getting married." Glen deadpanned.

My worst nightmare is coming true. What the fuck? This cannot be happening. I finally understand why CeCe wanted me to take my medication so bad. I wanted to throw it in their faces. Jake and I would live in the same house…we would be step-brothers. The anger and betrayal I felt….uhh my mind is so scrambled right now.

"This is complete bullshit."

My voice was cold.

"Elijah!" my mother criticized, my emotions were on a platter…letting everyone see. All eyes were on me…. I had to get out. I think I am having a panic attack the room is spinning, I am sweating. Images of my dad being replaced by Glen cloud my vision.

I have to get out.

…..

Everything was a blur somehow I found myself in the hearse. I tousled to try to get the pills out of the bag, one dropped and fell onto my lap…I found it difficult to pick up the fallen pill with my hands shaking so much. I swallowed the pill dry. It scorched down my throat. I was waiting for me to magically feel better. After a few minutes my mind was slowly clearing up, but the sick feeling in my stomach wouldn't leave.

I thought of my Dad, he only died 4 years ago….the memory is so vivid. I rest my hand on the steering wheel and allow the tears to come. I have never been a loud sober crier; my tears have always been silent. I haven't cried in such a long time. I feel so implausibly weak. Finally, the tears stopped. My body must have run out of water, I let a humorless chuckle slip through my lips. I could feel my heart race…strange? That only happens when Clare is here. I peak my head out of my arms to find the reason for the increase pace of my heart.

Clare.

"Clare" I called to her.

She turned around to look for the source of the sound. We stared at each other; we tend to do that a lot. I raise my hand to beckon her over here. She came over and opened the door.

It was the silent. Not the awkward silence that filled the dinner table. It was the good kind of stillness. I was curious if she could hear my heartbeat because it rung through my ears. I think we were challenging each other to see who would break the silence first. I wouldn't lose this time, like I lost that starring contest with her before.

"Eli, I want to be your friend." I couldn't look at her, in fear of her finding out the true coward I am.

"We can't be friends." I muttered, she means too much to me.

"Why?" her voice seemed to have been raised ever so slightly.

"You are part of Jocks group…people couldn't know we associate with each other…."

"It could be a secret." Clare said immediately after I was finished talking.

"Okay… but we are not friends."

All I can think about is kissing her….I can't make her my friend even a secret one at that.

Her eyes softened and she let out a giggle. My smirk followed right after, almost on cue.

"Do you want to talk about tonight?"

"Not here." I said breaking my eye contact with her.

She got out her phone and began to text. I looked over at her with a quizzical look.

"I am texting my mom telling her I will be home late…." She paused, I was about to interrupt her.

She cut me off.

"I told her that I am with Alli and Jenna."

And with that I started my car.

….

…

Clare's POV

…..

….

We finally arrived at this deserted area up in the hills. We got out in unison. Eli sat on top of his car and I followed him by lying beside him.

I looked out into the horizon.

The stars were absolutely dazzling; I couldn't take my eyes off of them. It was a full moon outside, I could have sworn it look 5x bigger than usual. I looked farther out into the horizon I could see the brilliant lights from the city. This place took my breath away. I almost forgot about the gorgeous creature that lies beside me. I glanced over at him to find him studying my ever move. For some reason I knew I should have felt self-conscious, but I felt comfortable.

"Aahaha what?" I laughed

"You are defiantly are an original…. Clare Edwards." He smirked.

"As are you, Elijah Goldsworthy." I laughed as he stuck out his tongue at me.

The laughter subsided.

"Do you want to talk about tonight?" I asked as I sat up.

Eli still laid there his lips in a line.

"It's fine if you don't want to-"

Eli interrupted me.

"My dad died 4 years ago." His voice was cold it wasn't directed towards me.

My eyes soften. For once I saw Eli with his walls crumpling down. His eyes had vulnerability in them, he looked younger to me. Almost like a lost child.

"I'm wish I could say the right thing to make you feel better….but I can't Eli." I spoke the truth. I added quickly "I am sorry."

Eli looked at me.

"That is the best thing anyone has said to me." He looked sincere.

"Glen isn't a bad guy."

"He raised Jake….there has to be something wrong with him."

"Why do you and Jake hate each other?" I asked my voice almost angry in frustration.

"There are many reasons." He paused.

"Come on Eli, let me in." I pleaded.

My mask is slowly falling off.

"Clare, why are you with him?" Eli deadpanned.

"I uhhhh…" I was at a loss for words.

"Come on Clare, let me in." he quoted me.

How do I expect him to be honest with me? When I, myself is not even fully telling him the truth.

Eli looked at me… his face full of compassion; it was strange not seeing him with his guarded attitude.

" I…when I am with Jake…I am somebody and not this invisible person." I looked away from him, tears forming in my eyes.

"I was tired of being… Invisible Clare" I felt Eli's hand on my back, my eyes fluttered shut at his touch.

"I hate myself. Eli…I do. How could I be so stereotypical to people? My mom and Dad are never home. I probably didn't even have to text my mom that I will be home late they don't care. I am a terrible person, Eli. I care too much what people think."

"Jake pressured me into having sex…I broke my vow to God for him. I have to stay with him."

Eli's jaw became tense.

I felt Eli sit up and wrap his arms around me. I felt safe and secure. It was only Eli and I.

My _mask_ has finally fallen off.

"You have always been more than Clare Edwards to me…" His voice was gentle and alluring. I felt like he was my safe haven. I have never felt this free from my _mask_ in such a long time. I feel like a little girl again and Eli was my protector. Eli clung onto me tighter.

"I can't believe I shared that with you." My voice was raspy from crying.

"Clare, I been bullied my whole entire life. That's why I need to fight for everything. I am tired of feeling weak all the time. When my…Dad…died….I vowed that I would never allow myself to get attached to anyone."

He let the silence consume the air.

"Until you came…."

I looked up to him, in shock. I grabbed onto his hand. His thumb swiftly glided over my index finger.

What happened next was not in either of our control.

We both leaned in, I stopped halfway. I could feel his proximity his cold breath mixed with my warm. I was about to pull away but I felt Eli's lips crash onto mine.

My lips kissed back feverishly. The kiss made every inch of my body feel pure bliss. Saying it was amazing was an incredibly large understatement. This kiss made my insides explode with pure enjoyment.

My lips moved perfectly against him. My heart would stop and speed up at the same time, this boy was making my heart in cardiac arrest.

I wrapped my arms around him as he leaned back, my body rested on him and fell back onto his car. His arms would move back and forth on back. Eli and I were fighting for dominance, who won? I have no idea. My body naturally started moaning when Eli began to kiss my neck, I could feel his smirk as he sucked on my neck. I grinded my body on him, moans exploded from his mouth. I felt him poke on me; I was surprised I could do that to him, to give him such a reaction.

I tried to make my body closer to him; he bit on my lower lip.

I was taking in slow long breathes making my chest rise up and down I suddenly feels a rush of adrenalin, and his kisses me roughly but still with passion

I got surprised by his rush, but kisses back, I loved the feeling loved that the kiss was intensifying even more.

We both pulled away. We were gasping for air. We stared at each other not breaking eye contact.

"Clare, I can't be friends with you…because I like you too much."

….

…

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	7. Chapter 7

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...

Eli's POV

...

...

She pulled me closer to her body I felt her breast push against me, that didn't help my…issue downstairs.

I also felt her heart pound against mine.

I bit her bottom lip, gently.

She was taking in slow long breathes making her chest rise up and down she unexpectedly feels a rush of adrenalin.

I made my kissing rougher, I stopped holding back on her….it doesn't give us justice.

I could sense she got startled by my urgency, but she kisses back trying to catch up with my roughness. This was better than my imagination. I pictured kissing Clare but never expected to be given that high of a privilege.

In unison Clare and I pulled away, I immediately started to miss her mouth against mine. I was trying to re-fill my lungs with air, as was she. I stared into her blue eyes that make my body function improperly.

"Clare, I can't be friends with you…because I like you too much."

Her chuckle rang through my ears as she put her face against my chest, muffling her laughter. I smiled.

"I noticed." She said as she leaned to give my neck, right where you check for my pulse she gave it a gentle kiss. I wonder if she felt my heartbeat speed up.

I held her closer to me; I felt her smile against my neck.

So this is what Heaven feels like, I would presume.

But this isn't a utopia; there still was a problem….

It's been a problem since I was a kid.

Jake.

"Jake." I tried to disguise the tormenting tone through my voice. By tonight Clare could see right through me. That thought doesn't scare me as bad as I thought.

Clare immediately pulled out of my arms; I felt this empty void in my stomach. Clare's facial expression flashed worry. This brought worry to me.

"I'll take care of it, tomorrow night?" she leaned back on me, and smiled,

"If you want this…" she pointed between us. "To keep on continuing?"

I smirked, "You'll get sick of me."

"Doubt it." As she leaned into me, I found her lips….and my mind cease to stop worrying. I don't understand how my mind could just stop working. Clare presses her body closer to me.

Clare pulled away once more, my eyes locked onto her once more.

"We would have to keep us…a secret for a while."

I gave a quizzical look.

"You don't know Jake…the way I know Jake" she paused as she looked away from me.

"He'll do something he will regret…I can't or won't stand it…if he hurts you." She stuttered, I fought it cute.

My eyes soften as I lifted her chin to face me; her skin was so soft like satin.

"The only way for him to hurt me is if he hurts you." My hands cup her face.

"You're my weakness Clare."

Clare's lips crash onto mine.

…..

…..

I woke up with a smile on my face. It sort of looked out of place in my all black room. Band posters filled the walls of the dark gray paint. Clothes were scrambled everywhere. My clock in bright red numbers were

**10:05 am**

My mind found it back to_ my_ Clare. Could I call her _my_ Clare? Is it too early?

She is technically breaking up him tonight….so why am I freaking out?

Maybe because I am gaining a step-brother, I punch the side of my bed out of impulse. My fist is filled with pain instantly after my fist leaves the wood. My other hand grabs it like it would take away the pain.

I heard a faint knock at the door. My mother's head peaks out of the door. My jaw is tense.

"Baby Boy, do you want to talk about last night?" she asked.

"No." my voice didn't hold any sort of hesitation.

CeCe frowned as she pushed back her blonde hair behind her ear. CeCe and I look nothing alike. It is very comical with my family.

CeCe didn't push me any farther,

"Today is your Cousin's birthday."

Johnny 8 year old image took over my mind. For a little kid he wasn't bad. He was my favorite cousin. I felt excitement fill my inner core. I missed my little cousins and my aunt. Maybe possibly I could bring Clare? I mean she lives right next door.

"I won't be able to come…until later." My mother's voice filled the silence.

"Why?" I asked.

"Glen-"

I interrupted her like an immature brat,

"If it has anything to do with him, I don't want to hear it."

My mother's eyes began to water up. I promptly started to feel remorseful.

I wrapped my arms around my mother.

"I'm sorry."

CeCe clung onto me.

"You better get going, the party is going to start." Her voice with every word became more cheerful.

…..

….

Clare's POV

…..

…

I was reading one of my favorite books, _Invisible Monster_ by Chuck Palahniuk. It was so hard to focus, which was unlikely for me. My mind kept thinking about last night. Unconsciously, I touched my lips remembering the taste of Eli's sweet lips.

It still ceases to amaze me how honest I am with him. Last night after the amazing make-out session, I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks. Well after that…we just talked for hours.

About our different religious views or our favorite colors.

Even though I haven't known him for that, it feels like we have been like this since….forever.

I sound like a _love_ sick teenager.

Love?

Could it be? I never felt like this with any guy I have been with.

He makes me feel dangerous but protected at the same time.

Suddenly my thoughts were disturbed by the sound of knock at the door.

I mark my book and set it down. I took off my pattern blanket that kept me warm in this cold house. I got up to the front door and opened the door.

I smiled as I found that familiar smirk I have grown to tolerate and adore.

I rest my head on the side of the door.

"Morning." I mimicked his smirk.

Eli gave me a gentle kiss on my cheek and then my ear

He whispered, "Good Morning, Clare."

My eyes fluttered shut from the pleasure that shivered down my spine.

I noticed Eli's "lighter" attire. It was less black than usual.

"Why so cheerful?" I pointed to his clothing. Eli's eyes followed the direction of my hand; he raised his hands as he said,

"I decided to be a jock." Sarcasm burst through his voice.

I playfully punched his shoulder.

"Ouch!" his voice kept his joking sarcastic tone.

"The real reason?" I pried.

Eli grabbed my hand very theatric,

"I, Elijah Goldsworthy cordially invite you, Clare Diane Edwards to join me as my date to the event of the week." He gave me a quick wink.

"I gladly accept your invitation" I decided to play along.

Eli kisses my hand, my breathing becomes uneasy from the contact his lips colliding with my body.

"Where does this event take place?" I asked as Eli stands up normally.

"Right next door from where we stand...My cousin's birthday party."

…

….

...

I watched as Eli was attacked by 7 kids, laughter filling the air. Eli looked very adorable as the kids chased him around. Eli didn't seem to mind being attacked, he was smiling away. It was cute watching him play with the kids. It was humorous seeing him act like a little kid, another side I have come to…

Lo- enjoy.

I was greeted so sweetly by Eli's family. Of course I introduced as a friend. Deep down one day I cannot wait to be introduced as his _girlfriend_.

I know it's for his own good, to wait until Jake has calmed down about the break up before Eli and I could be seen by other people. I couldn't risk Eli getting hurt. I haven't told him that he was my weakness, _too_.

Hayley came back to sit by me with two lemonades in her hand.

Eli's Aunt Hayley is the sweetest women ever.

"Thank you so very much." I said as I took a large sip out of the cool liquid.

"No problem, sweetheart!" she smiled as she pushed back a piece of her raven color hair, like Eli's dark hair.

My eyes followed Eli as he ran from the kids who adored him, you can tell by just looking. I tilt my head as I smile.

"So how long have you two lovebirds been together?"

My eyes shot up to Hayley, I was flabbergasted.

"I…uhh...We are just friends." I muttered.

"Hahahaha, sweetheart." She paused to take a drink.

"The way you two look at each gives you away."

"Excuse me?" I raised my eyebrows

"I know you're a smart girl, sweetheart. The way you and Elijah stare at each other….it's beautiful. He stares at you with pure adoration and you return the same look. I haven't seen that look in such a long time….it's refreshing. Do you love him?" deadpanned Hayley.

I looked over at Eli who keeps glancing at me, I blush uncontrollably.

"Yes, he doesn't know that though." I felt my shoulders slump.

I am in love with him. I want to scream it! I couldn't lie to Hayley…or myself any longer.

"Sweetheart, any person could see that boy is absolutely in love with you." My eyes locked onto Hayley. Hayley pretends to zip her lips as she looked forward.

My heart stopped as I felt someone pick me up. I heard Eli's laughter mix with the laughter belonging with the children. He was carrying me bridal style.

My heartbeat sped up as he spun me around. I felt like I was flying, my laughter conjoined with everyone else.

I could feel Eli's heartbeat as he pressed me closer to his body.

I felt Eli plop us down to the ground. I looked into Eli's eyes, his emerald eyes were all I could see. For that mere second it was just us. I raise my hand to glide over his cheek, his eyes fluttered shut; like my eyes earlier when he whispered in my ear.

Suddenly the children jumped on his, making a dog pile. We all started laughing.

Johnny, Eli's favorite cousin… he pointed him out when we first arrived. When we first arrived he ran into Eli's arms automatically.

Johnny started messing with Eli's wavy hair. Eli picked up over his shoulders; laughter filled the child's lungs.

"Any last words, Jonathon?" the child scrunched his nose just like Eli when people call him, Elijah.

"Revenge is sweet, Elijah." Johnny reminded me of Eli.

The other children climbed all over me, I was fond of Johnny's little sister, Violet.

She clung to my ankles, I giggled as I tickled her.

Suddenly a voice broke up the scene apart,

"Clare?"

…

_**Review…the faster I will update. (:**_

_**Thank you (:**_


	8. Chapter 8

**Jake will be very AU. Love him in real life, but in my story he's evil.**

***I do not own degrassi.**

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…

Eli's POV

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…..

My heartbeat was irregular but it was a regular occurrence whenever I am in the same proximity as Clare.

I clung to Clare and held her closer to me. I wonder if she felt the same electricity through her veins run throughout it like mine.

I set us down to the ground and safety. Clare's eyes glanced at me and our eyes locked onto each other, I have no intention of leaving her eyes first. Clare's delicate fingers slid over my cheek, unconsciously my eyes fluttered shut. How one touch from this girl could let my whole mind feel like it is not even connected to my body?

All my little cousins and their friends jumped on us, laughter exploded from our lips. I snuck a peak at Clare; her curls would bounce when she laughed. The kids began to make a dog pile on top of us. I growled at them the laughter continued

Johnny, my favorite cousin, this little kid was amazing. He reminded me of myself, a cocky little bastard. He even dresses darker than most kids his age.

I felt Johnny fingers start to mess up my hair. I shot him a smirk as I picked him up over my shoulders. He was getting heavy, it is so strange how fast they grow up. I finally understand what CeCe means by how I grew up so fast. It feels like ages ago when I was little, but it wasn't that long ago.

"Any last words, Jonathon?" Johnny shot me the look that I should people when they use "Elijah".

"Revenge is sweet, Elijah." Naturally I felt my nose scrunch up. I suppressed the laugh that was too dangerously close to escaping from my lips.

I looked over at Clare; the kiddos were climbing all over her. She looked comfortable though and happy. I know it was probably way too early to meet the family. But my reasoning was we aren't the "normal couple".

I noticed the how little Violet clung onto my Clare's ankle. Clare started giggling and Violet mimicked as Clare tickled the tiny girl. Violet looked just like Johnny except that she was pure sunshine.

Abruptly a very familiar voice interrupted us.

"Clare?"

I shut my eyes, almost hoping he would leave. It was childish I know, I couldn't help myself. The little faces facing me were curious.

"Look a soccer ball!" Clare distracted them; the little ones took a bite onto it like bait.

"Eli? Why is Clare Edwards here?" the voice said repeated.

Clare looked down at her feet awkwardly.

I finally looked at the source of the voice.

Adam.

How could I forget? My Aunt invites Adam to all of the family functions. He is like my brother. Clare glanced between me, Adam, and the floor.

"Adam…uhmm…we can explain."

Adam flinched at the word "we". I felt Clare grab my hand, in that second I guess she was trying to show Adam with actions more than words.

Actions speak louder than words. I myself am more a fan of words, me being a writer.

Adam's eyes seem to pop out of his socket.

"What the hell?" Adam breathed.

"Maybe we should sit down" Clare's fragile voice broke the silence.

Clare tightened her soft grip, like she was saying it will be alright.

"Agreed." I piped in.

I looked around outside the whole back yard was filled with family. Luckily I found a corner in the spot where it was discrete enough to talk privately. The backyard was filled the party decorations

. Adam kept fixing his forest green beanie that he always wore with his oversize blue and green flannel. Adam always did this when he was nervous.

I am sure Adam could sense my nervousness too, and that didn't help his anxiety.

Usually I would have had resorted to my bipolar pills, with this high of nervousness. Since I have been with Clare the need for them has decreased greatly. Clare is better than any drug.

I led us to the spot chosen for this very long talk, I would prefer to have ignored. This was going to happen sooner or later. I was planning on telling Adam this week. I just wanted to mentally prepare a speech. I noticed the little kids playing and all fighting for the soccer ball. I remembered when I was little how easy life was. The only worry was to win the soccer ball.

"So when did this all happen?" Adam asked as we sat down.

"Technically last night." I couldn't hold back my smirk.

Adam faced scrunched up.

"Gross…Eli I tell you not to tell me those things."

Clare face turned to horrified.

"NO NO NO! We just…. talked." Clare explained, I noticed the blush covering her porcelain cheeks

"Is that what the kids are calling it these days?" Adam questioned.

We all broke down into laughter, in that second the awkwardness was gone.

The laughter finally subsided.

Adam took this opportunity to ask the questions, I am sure are eating him away. Even in my own thoughts I am a sarcastic bastard.

"Aren't you with Jake?" this time he asked Clare a question. Adam stopped messing with his beanie. That put me in better ease, knowing Adam is comfortable with each other. They are too important to me to not like each other.

Clare took a large breathe before answering, "Tonight, I am breaking up with him tonight."

I found myself holding my breath as she said this.

"I thought you hated us." Adam deadpanned

I wanted to say something but it was directed towards Clare.

"I don't" Clare was too nonchalant.

"Quite the opposite." Clare gave me a lingering kiss on the cheek, I started smiling like fool.

Adam let a chuckle slide.

"I haven't seen Eli smile that much."

I glanced at Clare before I started blushing, he blush mimicked mine.

"I also never seen Eli blush this hard." Adam stuck out his tongue.

My blush darkened, I punched him in his arm.

"haha Clare, he's a monster!" laughed Adam

"A ravenous killer!" Clare joked.

We all heard my Aunt scream, "Ice cream!"

Adam and I get excited and start jumping up and down like the kids.

Clare laughed as she said, "No_ Cake_?"

Adam gave a laugh without humor and I scoffed,

"Everyone hates _Cake_."

Clare nodded, "It's was good at first, but then I got sick of it."

…

…..

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Clare's POV

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…..

….

We were sitting in the front lawn. Eli's arm around me my smile has been plastered on my mouth, and Adam going on about a story of when Eli, Adam, and Eli's Dad on one of their hunting trips.

It was the first time Eli talked about his Dad so openly. It was nice to see him so happy and cheerful.

Today has been such a great day and nothing could ruin this.

**A "HONK" SOUND**, made everyone jump.

The driver inside made me jump even more.

Drew, one of Jake's best friends…. I wiggled out of Eli's arms hoping he didn't see me. My heart stopped, because I know Drew saw me. Drew eyes were wide

Adam got up and gave us both hugs

"Gotta go talk to you all later." Adam didn't look fazed at all. How could I forget that they were brothers! Drew always talks about Adam, whenever Jake wasn't around. It was too cute.

"I texted Adam to not tell Jake…Don't worry." Eli whispered before he kissed my ear, I felt relax in his arms. I noticed Drew's mouth talking and Adam has made it to the car yet.

KC was in the backseat.

I ran out of Eli's arms to the front door of my house. All I can think about how I could protect him. My back was on the wall I slid down covering my face.

I heard the car zoom out. I heard footsteps right after.

"Clare?" I wanted to run back into his arms, but I couldn't.

I felt him lift up my chin to look at me. I looked into his emerald eyes, it showed comfort….

"KC was in the car…he saw us, he will tell Jake."

Eli held onto me, I felt safe…. I found his lips and pulled him into a kiss. Our lips moved together in such a way it made me realize I cannot let him get hurt, no matter the cost.

…

…..

….

"Promise to call me right after?" Eli asked as he kissed up my hand. I opened the door to lead him out.

"Of…..course….. I…will" I tried to control a moan forming in my lips.

Eli mouthed me goodbye as we walked down the stairs. I noticed that Eli put on his shirt inside out and it brought a giggle out of me.

"Goodnight" I whispered and blew him a light kiss as he got in his car.

I walked into my house and picked up the book I left on the table. I found myself in the same predicament as this morning; I was too distracted by the memory of Eli's kiss. I touched my lips trying to remember his touch. I can't believe that I am reading in the same spot Eli and I had another amazing make-out session.

I can remember the way he kissed up and down my shoulders, the way my body shuddered under his. I lifted his shirt off; I felt his abs and ran my hands all over his chest. My lips ran down his lips down to his chest….His hands roamed my chest-

My thoughts got interrupted by a knock on the door.

It was Jake.

My heart stopped, not like the way I get when I am around Eli.

I answered the door…terrified.

I was ready to tell him my speech I planned for our" break-up"

Jake's face was angry; he looked like he only had a beer or 2.

"If your drunk I don't want to talk." I said trying to make myself look taller.

"I'm not." Jake pushed me out of the way. I noticed KC in the passenger sit of Jake's car.

He knows.

"Jake, you should get out."

"Eli? Eli Goldsworthy?" his eyes showed nothing but fury. 

"Jake-"

I felt Jake grab both of my wrists. I tried to get out of his rough grip, but I couldn't.

"Jake, let go of me!" I felt my eyes naturally water up at his grip.

"Clare…do you know what I am capable of?" Jake grunted through his teeth.

"Jake, please let go." I was crying now.

"You won't leave me for him….." Jake now grabbed my shoulders and shook me.

I smelled the liquor better.

"We already beat up …I think his name is Fitz. We were going to do Adam, but Drew refused."

Thoughts of Adam being bloody made me shudder.

"Do you want Eli to be next?"

The images of Eli beaten up made me go into hysteria crying.

I couldn't speak through my sobs… I know my mother or father wouldn't walk through the door. My Dads at a business trip and my mom is at a late meeting.

"NO, please don't hurt him."

I could not let him get hurt….. Jake could hurt me but not Eli.

I guess Eli is my weakness, also.

"Give me a reason not to."

"I'll stay with you." My heart felt like it was going to shatter. I could barely breathe through my tears.

" Promise?" he asked he pulled me into a hug.

"Yes…" I hugged back; a sick feeling in my stomach arose.

…

_**I know Jake was crazy in this story!**_

_**I Love him in Degrassi but in my story he is evil.**_

_**Sorry I took forever to upload I have been busy.**_

_**Love you all.**_

_**Review.**_

…


	9. Chapter 9

_**I do not own degrassi just the story.**_

…_**.**_

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Clare

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Jake finally left. My heart felt like it sunk down to my stomach. I want to scream but it's not audible.

I look down discovering red marks disfiguring my wrists. It must be from Jake's hard grip. I can remember his tongue down my throat.

I wonder if he tasted the sweet taste of Eli when he kissed me. Did he notice the way I flinched when he pulled me closer.

I can hear a car pull up in the driveway. I look out the curtains to find my mother she was talking into her Bluetooth and was emailing a work file I presume on her blackberry.

She closed her door to her car. The second I heard the slam noise I rushed to my bedroom and switched into my big shirt and pajama bottoms, I left my clothes on the ground. I turned off all the lights. When I was little both of my parents would tuck me in. That was when my parents truly loved each other. That was before the huge promotions.

They got huge raises, but what is so good about all the money in the world if you can't have happiness.

Maybe that's why I can't let Eli get hurt he's the only thing I have ever felt…..loved?

He is too precious for me to loose.

I can hear the sounds of my mother's heels… she walked right pass my room, like every night.

I noticed my phone sitting on top of my counter next to my bed. I reached over; I had to stretch because of my short height.

I grabbed my phone. I know I have to text him or he would drive over here. Right now I would give the _masquerade_ away. I began to text,

**I'll see you at school tomorrow.**

I re-read the text millions of times before I sent it.

I couldn't help but wonder what he will say or what would say afterward.

My screen lit up and I slid it open.

**Do you need me to come over?**

I want him to come over more than anything, I need to stop I need to be strong.

I take a large sigh before I started to type back

**No. We need to talk tomorrow.**

I could feel everything tense up. I am a great liar.

**Alright, did everything go alright?**

I could almost hear his caring yet alluring voice through the text.

I took a little bit longer to text back.

**We'll talk in the morning.**

Instantly I got a reply.

**Sweet dreams, Clare.**

I through my phone to the ground and I wrapped my blankets around my face.

My _mask_ is back

…

….

Eli

…

…..

My arms were under my head that rested above my black cased pillow. I looked up trying to find the ceiling. It was way too dark to even see anything. I can't sleep when there is light. Even when I was little I never slept with a night light or with my door open.

My parents even told me when I was a baby they tried to make me sleep with a night light. Every night I would be restless and cry throughout the night, until one night they forgot to turn on the night light….well I slept like an angel that night.

Maybe that is another reason why I am so fascinated by Clare, she's so bright and warm, and that is something I am not used to. I cannot wait to see her tomorrow. She's my lightness to my dark.

If today was a perfect day, I can't image what tomorrow will have in store for us. I finally get to claim Clare Edwards as mine.

Sleep threatens my eyes; I have to wait for Clare to text me.

I hear the buzzing noise. Sleep no longer threatening my eyes due to my new distraction. I quickly rushed over to my phone to read the text.

**I'll see you at school tomorrow.**

Immediately after I read the last word I felt my eyebrows crease in confusion.

Probably was a rough break-up.

**Do you need me to come over?**

I replied quickly. My body felt eager. I am starting to feel uneasy about being so dependent on someone….again.

My eyes start to feel tears overcome it, I miss my dad. After his death I remember staying in my bed turning off all my lights and laying in the dark. I was too numb to even think.

My thoughts got interjected by the buzzing sound of my phone.

**No. We need to talk tomorrow.**

Clare seemed distant, maybe I am overthinking it. I texted her back,

**Alright, did everything go alright?**

It took her longer to reply this time. I couldn't help but wonder what happened with Jake.

Jake, my soon to be step-brother, my own mother's last would change into Martin. A shudder ran down my spine.

But she's happy. I think that is what kills me the most. I can't do that to my mother. That is all I truly want for my mom to be happy. I am so selfish, maybe I am the one that needs to let go?

Finally the buzzing noise from my phone went off.

**We'll talk in the morning.**

We definitely will. I don't think we could keep us a secret for long. Clare told me about Alli and Jenna…

How they probably won't miss her, they only wanted to be her friend because of Jake's popularity.

I started to type then I sent it away.

**Sweet dreams Clare.**

I finally let the battle of sleep win.

….

…..

…

I came early to school to drop off my essay to Ms. Dawes. I went to my locker. I could feel the anticipation of today control my mind and body. I actually went to sleep quickly and stayed asleep, that happens very seldom. Lately though whenever I am with Clare, that same night is the best sleep I get in such a long time.

I wonder if that is supposed to happen when you fall in love.

I can't wait when she finds out the truth.

I swear it's been bottled up for such a long time.

Does she love me?

A voice in my head whispered yes that shut out all the doubts of the yelling in my mind.

I heard a familiar voice,

"Eli, where have you been?" Adam voice was frantic.

I shut my locker and I turned to give Adam more of my attention.

"Mexico." I sarcastically remarked at him.

Adam's eyes hardened and became serious.

"Okay…no sarcasm, what is going on?" I turned to look at him.

Just as he was about to tell me….he stopped.

I waved my hands in front of his baby face.

"Hello Adam? No more video games for you; it is ruining your brain."

I realized after I said that I remembered I promised no more sarcasm.

I was awaiting Adam to glare at me.

Adam pointed the opposite way I was facing. I gave him a quizzical look before I turned to look.

What I saw made my insides feel like they were about explode.

I felt betrayed and wounded.

Jake held onto Clare, Clare was smiling as he kissed her cheek.

I couldn't _mask_ my emotions. My eyebrows creased in confusion.

The one person who I thought would always be there….hurt me.

Adam wore his emotions on his sleeve. His mouth gaped open.

My eyes tried to lock onto Clare, she avoided my gaze. Jake glared at me then he looked back to Clare and smiled as he held her closer. I have never felt so jealous in my life. It took everything in me not to run up to him and hit that smile of his face that smile should be on me.

I watched them walk down the hallway. I could see Jenna and Alli whispering at the end of the hallway.

I heard Adam mumble,

"Man, I really liked her." He was disappointed like me.

I watched as they walked past me.

Clare turns to look at me she was still connected to him

"Sorry I led you on…" she mouthed.

The shock wore off and anger took control.

"Nice talk we had." I said loud enough for her to hear.

She turned around so gracefully, Jake pulled her even closer.

My eyes must have played a trick, it seemed like she flinched as did I. The bell rang. It was louder than I expected. Kids started to swarm everywhere. I couldn't move. Adam stood there he didn't speak which I was thankful about.

They finally were out of sight. My mind began to race…. I couldn't concentrate my eyes couldn't focus.

I frantically opened up my locker and grab the bottle of pills in the corner hidden. I opened it and took out some pills five fell out, I put three back and swallowed two of them dry.

It tasted disgusting down my throat, I was thankful the bell rang and it was just the two of us that witness my "attack".

We stood there for a few minutes in silence. Slowly the thoughts started to become clearer, we waited a few more minutes.

I am so glad Adam is so unbelievably patience compared to my impatient and impulsive ways.

Finally I was calm enough to talk.

"I got played by Clare Edwards, it probably was a plan from Jake. "

"Eli I am so sorry." Adam patted my shoulder gently and closed my locker for me. I looked up at him.

"What did you have to tell me?" I asked, my mind couldn't and won't shake off the image of Clare telling me he moved on.

"I guess I need to rip off the band aid…." Adam paused as my eyebrows creased.

Before he continued he took a large breathe,

"Jake and his gang of Neanderthals found Fitz walking on the street….and beat him up."

At that second I lost it.

….

….

….

Clare

…

….

….

I felt sick to my stomach his voice scars my mind.

The whole day has been a blur. I am so happy it's the end of the day. Eli wasn't there in English…why am I surprised? If I were him I would ditch. Ms. Dawes let me turn in my half of the "get to know you assignement."

He is safe, stop worrying.

I kept trying to picture him bruised up and bloody, so I would feel better about protecting him.

It made me feel a thousand times worse.

"Clare, what colors are you and Jake going to wear for the masquerade prom this Friday?" Jenna's high pitch voice asked.

"Probably white…maybe black." I deadpanned.

Black…made me think of Eli's dark attire. I wonder what color we would have worn if we went together….. I wanted to laugh at the thought of him wearing a tux. I know he would have gone with me in a heartbeat. I would have picked a color that emphasized his emerald green eyes.

I gave out a large sigh.

"KC and I are planning on blue…what about you and Drew? "She turned to Alli.

"PINK!" they both giggled, I let out a fake laugh.

I remembered how laughing was so natural with Eli and Adam.

Uhhhh. I need to get him out of my head; this cannot be healthy thinking about one person this much.

I can't help but wonder, have I crossed his mind? Was my performance believable? He always saw through my charades.

"Clare? You're quite…How was your weekend?" Alli asked.

Out of the two girls I would say Alli was my favorite "friend"

"It was fine…so masks shopping again after school?" I changed the subject. Jenna went along with the subject change. Alli hesitated before going along with Jenna.

Alli had a similar story to me…she lived under her brother, Sav's shadow. She is obviously beautiful and loud of course Jake's best friend Drew Torres started to pay attention to her. Then BOOM next day she was popular.

Like me…Alli is exceptionally smart, we are forced to be more quite about it. We have study once at a party…in secret of course.

The bell rang and everyone in unison got up and started to pack up their stuff.

We were outside when some random kid ran through telling everyone

"Fight between Goldsworthy and Martin about to go down!"

Alli, Jenna, and I stared at each other before practically running outside to find out.

I couldn't control the thoughts occurring in my mind about the safety of Eli.

I immediately found Eli and Jake being swarmed around a group of people. The three of us pushed through the crowd.

My eyes glanced at Adam the same time he glanced at me.

"You're going to pay for what you did to Fitz." Eli's menacing voice came back.

"Eli I won." Jake's eyes looked at me… Eli turned to look at his gaze he found….me.

Eli's face hardened, something in his sparked with anger.

He turned back.

"Martin…you're going to pay for everything you did." Eli voice was hostile.

Jake said quietly, "She never loved you….she played you the whole entire time."

Eli pushed Jake.

My heart stopped my breathe became uneasy

Principle Simpson yelled at them,

"Goldsworthy and Martin…office now!"

Simpson grabbed the two boys who were still giving death glares to each other

The crowd subsided right away at the sound of our principle's voice.

Jenna and Alli pulled me away….before Eli disappeared into the school

He looked at me.

I wanted to yell, I am so sorry and that I love you,

Instead I just looked at him helplessly.

…

…

…

This week came so quick. I wanted to find out what happened in Mr. Simpson's office. Jake wouldn't tell me all he said was, don't worry about it.

I have barely seen Eli at school. Even though he has been absent from my life he invades my mind all day. At night it's the worst.

He has ditched English every day since Monday, it's Friday. It's the day of the Masquerade prom. I found the perfect dress and mask but I am lacking the perfect date. I have a date and to anyone else he would be perfect but to me…my mind can't shake the emerald eyes and that smirk that haunts me.

I arrive in English; I can't help but hope that maybe Eli might be here today. Nowhere in sight… I sit down at my desks and stare out outside at the lilies with a vacant stare on me.

Ms. Dawes appears; I jumped a little bit from being surprised.

"Here's your partner essay" she handed me two essays. She added quickly

"I gave you, Eli's also since he hasn't shown up when he turned it in to Monday morning"

"Monday morning?" that was before…we spilt up.

"Yes, Ms. Edwards." She smiled and shot me a wink as she walked away.

I noticed the two A's on the front of our papers. It was an easy assignment it was supposed to be half a page.

I read Eli's essay…..

"_There is more than meets the eye "is complete understatement of a quote when talking about Clare Diane Edwards. At first glance of Clare you would find a beautiful popular girl. Once you truly get to tear apart the layers of Clare Edwards you find something so much more. Her presence is hypnotizing and intoxicating. She is like the sun, bright and she has this radiance about her that is one of kind. She is a smart girl you can tell when you talk to her widen vocabulary and her desire to talk about things that matter give her away. She likes to read her favorite authors include a large variety of work from Chuck Palahnuick to Jane Austen. She has so many twist and turns. Clare has a fascination with flowers; you can often find her staring at Lilies in English. Her eyes lighten up when she looks at them. Her voice changes when she is frustrated. _

_If someone is lucky ever get a chance to meet Clare Edwards. One of your greatest memories would be of her would be her eyes that are a shade of blue that you can't describe even if you tried. Her short curls bounce when she laughs and her noise scrunches when she's upset. She wants to make sure everyone else is alright before she is. Her favorite color changes depending on her mood. She knows what to say at the right moments, she will deny it. She isn't perfect and that what makes her perfect to me. She was born April 22__nd__ she seems like a spring baby. She could kill someone with kindness. Edwards is selfless she is the light. Once you think you figured her out, you have think again because no one can ever get the real Clare Edwards. If you ever meet her you will never erase her from your memories or thoughts, believe me I have tried so very much. I guess I have fallen truly madly in love with Clare Edwards._

The tears came and there was no way to stop them. At the bottom of the paper Ms. Dawes wrote….

**He must really love you, Clare.**

I lost the only thing that makes me happy I re-read it again and again and again. I practically memorized it. I ran out of the classroom. The hallways of Degrassi were empty. The tears wouldn't stop flowing I tried to control myself there was no use. I didn't think it was humanly possible for someone to have this much tears.

The masquerade is tonight…maybe just maybe….what's the use?

I can just learn to love Jake instead.

…..

…

_**1 more chapter left then the epilogue (:**_

_**I have another story idea which I will post right after I finish this story!**_

_**REVIEW.**_


	10. Chapter 10

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…..

Eli

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Fitz's purple bruises have faded into this orange-ish yellow color. He always bruised that easily as long as I could remember. The sight of them makes my fists involuntarily tighten. We don't talk about that night where Jake's group _jumped_ him. I could imagine his skinny tall frame being pushed down by these much bigger athletic jocks. Don't get me wrong Fitz is by far one of the best fighters I have seen. He's no match for a surprise ambush of about 3 or 4 strong guys.

Where was I while this was going on? Oh yeah with a _silly naïve_ girl who isn't so naïve as I thought, she played me. Now one of my good friends is hurt because I fell for her. She probably is laughing with Jake about everything I opened up with her. My eyebrows crease in anger.

Adam's eyes flickered to me. I can hear the voices of Owen, Fitz, and Adam talk. They are used to my sudden quietness or when my eyes suddenly shut off and I look like I am off in my own little world. They have witnessed one of my bi-polar outbreaks before; we never talk about that either. My disorder is a white elephant in the room. The music that played loudly essentially would make my mind more chaotic startlingly clears my wild thoughts in my mind.

My mind flickers to Clare. I wonder what dress she is wearing tonight to the masquerade. I shunned that thought as quickly as it came. It's starting to get easier getting over Clare. Who am I kidding? Some moments I feel like I want nothing to do with that _manipulator_, that_ liar_, and when I see her all I could think about is getting her to kiss me. I discreetly shake my head like that would erase my thoughts of…Clare. My eyes caught onto a shiny black plain masks from my old Zorro costume when I was little. The mask as a child was way too big for my face. My mom thought it was adorable while my Dad made a smartass comment that would make laugh.

An idea pops into my head…I'm going to get my revenge on Jake.

"Boys, do we have any masks?" my voice chimed through the loud screaming metallic music.

…

…

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Clare

…

…..

We finally arrived at Degrassi. My mask was white with black rhinestones embodied on the edges of it, as I fixed it in the corner of my eye I could see Jake, KC, and Drew figuring out how they are going to sneak in the alcohol.

They are so idiotic.

My dress was black and it hugged the top part of my body and by the time it hit my hips the dress would sway out like a short mermaid dress. On the bottom part of my dress were matching black rhinestones that matched my mask. My lips were bright red. I was drawn to this dress….because of Eli. I never wear dark colors and this past week I have been clinging onto everything Eli. I re-read his favorite Chuck book 3 times since we last…talked.

Alli and Jenna started to squeal about how excited they are. I joined in. Alli and Jenna's dresses fit them perfectly. They tried to convince me to wear a red boa to match their boas but I refused making up excuses as best as I could. Thank God I won that battle.

I am so idiotic.

I have nothing to be excited for. I felt the cold hands of Jake snake its way around my waist, I shuddered as I tried to give my best smile but nothing seemed to form but a pathetic excuse of a grin.

We all started to walk into the gym.

The gym was transformed into this completely new place. I heard the Coyne's funded most of the dance. Midnight blue curtains were wrapped around the gym, it looked like the ocean. The only light was from the ceiling where there were dim lanterns hanging from the roof. There was a photo booth in the corner and cotton candy machines. The dancing floor was covered with hormonal teenagers while in the corner were arcade games. I honestly did not think the gym was this big. It seriously was night and day that's how different the school looked. Degrassi was wearing a mask also.

Jake and I made our way to dance floor…well it was against my free will. Of course a slow song came up. Jake rested his arms on my waist as my arms reached around his shoulders I rested my head on his chest. I could not look into his brown eyes because I know my mind and body would ache for them to be a stunning dark emerald green.

"Clare?" Jake whispered into my ear. I pretended he was Eli. Shame on you Clare Edwards!

"Mhmm?" at least I made an audible sound.

"I hope our Eli problem has finally gone away?"

I took my head out of his chest to look straight at him.

Ironically In that second I turned my head to find…

Eli and his friend are all dressed up arriving through the entrance. Eli's outfit matched mine. He wore a black dress shirt with his black skinny jeans his black converse with a red blazer. He had his mask around his neck. I mean I did copy his style with wearing black. Instantly our eyes meant. I could still make out his emerald eyes but barely. I could feel Eli staring us down. I could sense his confusion in me even looking at him, I'm supposed to be ignoring him. Jake's eyes followed my gaze.

"I will not let that Goth boy take you away from Me." his voice sounded so menacing. I couldn't help but feel this sudden chill run up and down my spine. My thoughts began to become unclear.

I broke my gaze from Eli. Eli's eyes were vacant and cold. Why am I so surprised?

Jake gripped me harder and gave me a shook….everyone was too occupied with their own self to notice Jake's abusive grip on my body. I felt a sudden courage sweep over my body.

Who the hell cares what Jake or anyone by that matter thinks of me? I won't talk to these ignorant people after high school.

I am only doing this to protect Eli….I remind myself.

I am going to suffer either way, he might not even feel the same way anymore.

I take a huge breathe making sure I fill up every inch of my lungs. I exhale before yanking myself off of Jake.

"Jake, I am done being your little puppet! I am in love with Eli." I had to speak louder because the next song was a lot faster. I felt another person come up to us my heartbeat sped up as I was about to turn to look at who it was-

Jake grabbed onto me again in that second I felt him get ripped off of me once again but not by my force I am too delicate for that.

…

…..

…..

"Get your filthy hands off of her!"

I wanted to gash his head in with my fists. I completely forgot all about my ipecac plan and all I could think about were Clare's words.

_I am in love with Eli._

Jake got right up to my face and he gave me a nudge.

"Who the fuck, do you think you are? He scoffed.

"Don't ever…ever touch her like that again." My voice was harder this time and louder.

I could see past Jake…His friends were coming as were mine. I could hear the gentle tears from Clare beside us. I felt her warm touch on my hand I clung to it as I smoothly pulled her next to me. I couldn't control my actions. I knew I wanted to stay mad at her and never forgive her for lying to me but all I could think was…

_I need to protect her._

Jake was about to swing a punch me, I was prepared to push Clare behind me. Suddenly someone else grabbed his elbow back…it was Drew. I glanced at Adam who was on my right side.

Drew spoke as Jake turned to give him a quizzical look.

"Jake…this constant fighting needs to stop." Drew eyes locked onto Jake who seemed to be fuming. I looked around at the small group starting to form around us.

Jenna and Alli stood beside Clare who was on my left side.

"Drew, you have one second to let me go."

"JAKE! We're tired of this stupid feud."

Drew looked like his old self…the one I remember in my childhood. He has always had that protective instinct that Adam and I also have picked up over the years.

I looked over to my right to find Adam smiling. My friends Owen and Fitz looked so confused at Clare and I holding hands and I don't blame them

I am shocked myself. They go with the flow and it seemed to have blown over their heads and they focused on Jake again.

"Jake….Drew is right." KC chimed in. disbelief filled me. I was shocked that KC would say that…maybe this simple but complicated proposition has been thought of more than I thought it would be. I could tell everyone felt the same way as KC and Drew because of the facial expressions. The only two people who seemed to oppose against this thought was me and Jake.

Ahaha this is the only thing we could agree on apart from our parent's marriage situation.

I am _tired_ of this feud. I just want my Clare and my mom and my friends.

This feud though does cut a lot more deeper then everyone thinks it does. I couldn't honestly say I would never fully forgive and forget with Jake.

I guess I could give in to peace…for the sake of Clare. I felt the delicate hand of Clare give my rough hand a reassuring squeeze.

I swallowed my pride and bit my mouth shut as I raised the hand that was not being held by a stunning angel for Jake to shake it.

"Ahaha fuck no." Jake said as he slapped my hand down.

Clare clung to me probably trying to hold me back from taking Jake down. I saw that everyone looked like they were walking on eggshells. Yet, I felt this sudden calmness or serenity….maybe it was because I had Clare.

Maybe that is all I need? That is all I need. I care so much about her that it covers my hatred for Jake.

I looked down to this beautiful girl. Her blue eyes were startlingly even more crystal blue. Her curls were more bouncy and she looked great in black…my smirk began to cover my face. Clare returned the smirk with her breathe-taking smile.

"Well Martin, I am done for the night." With that note I started to walk away with Clare in my arms.

"Where do you think you're going Goldsworthy?" I kept walking but I heard screams from Jenna and Alli so I turned around to find Drew and KC were holding back Jake. I could sense the fear from Clare and I held on tighter. We turned to watch Drew, KC, Adam, Fitz, and Owen pull him outside. The tiny crowd made the "awhhhh" noise, I laughed at their stupidity. Slowly the crowd dispersed back into their own lives. Such a funny thought how people are so obsessed with drama around here in Degrassi.

Did that honestly just happen?

I feel like this a dream I look at Clare….

I must be dreaming. No one can be that beautiful. The song began to turn into a slow song. My eyes followed the chaperone that started to go and follow those obviously suspicious boys dragging Jake out. Minutes late the boys were back without Jake. I wanted to go and find out what happened but I felt Clare twirl me around to face her.

"Dance with me" She commanded me. I smirked at her new found confidence; it was kind of...sexy.

I started to hold her against me and our feet shifted back and forth. I hate dancing but I didn't care it gave me an excuse to hold her against me.

"Eli Goldsworthy I would never take you as the dancing type." She seemed to have laughed into her smile.

"I am not" I kissed her cheek and held my lips to her. How could I forgive her this easily? I guess I am just so happy that I can't help myself.

As I pulled away to confront her about everything because I deserve an explanation, I heard her sigh.

"Eli, I am so sorry….Jake threatened me…I could not let him hurt you. You don't know Jake the way I know him…. what Jake is capable of scares me and I couldn't risk you because …" she gave a slight pause.

"I love you."

My heart fluttered. How could she love me?

"I understand if you never want to talk to me again…."

I cut her off with my lips, I felt her pull me closer as our lips moved together. Everything was right.

I am in love with this silly girl.

I pulled away relentlessly but I knew this girl deserved a reply that has been long due

"I love you Clare Edwards."

She gave me that golden smile that is known to make my knees become weak.

I held her close to me again.

I don't know where I will be a year from now…but I do know I will have my friends by my side and the girl who is in my English class and sits by the window and watches the lilies.

I bent down to get another kiss from Clare.

I felt her smile into the kiss.

This girl will be the death of me I swear.

…..

…

FINISHED.

I apologize for the wait…. I have been so busy lately.

I wish I could have ended it better and I am sooooo sorry the ending was so rushed :/ I just had to finish it to make more room for more stories.

I have some new eclare stories coming up!


	11. Epilogue

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Eli

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Epilogue

The room was filled with so many diverse people in this church. I felt myself getting nervous. This suit is way too uncomfortable and I feel like I am suffocating. Everyone in the church stood up and looked towards the opening of the church doors. I looked down the aisle to find a stunning bride all dressed in white holding a bouquet of red and white roses, I started to feel at ease again. She looked so beautiful and happy.

I haven't seen my mom look this happy; I glance at Glen who is gazing with awe at his blushing bride. I stood beside Jake the tension of us subsided as soon as my mother walked in. I am glad we are able to shut off our never-ending feud around our parents. I don't think we could ever resolve our bitterness towards each other but for the sake of our parents.

We will get along for them.

My feet felt heavy as I begin to meet my mother halfway just like we practiced the night before with the wedding planner. My mother's arms curled around mine. I can feel her shake just a little bit, I tried to stay firm but deep down I am shaking to my core from my nerves.

"Don't let me fall baby boy." She whispered low enough for only me to hear.

I felt myself naturally give my infamous smirk, but it went away as our feet moved.

"I won't momma." I whispered. In the moment I felt like it was our own intimate moment just for mother and son. My thoughts went straight to my Dad. I miss him every single day, but I know he would be happy for her ergo as am I.

We begin to walk in unison to the arch where Glen and Jake stood. Everyone's are on me and my mother…well mostly my mother. I feel my heart race…. I search down the rows of seats until I found the familiar blue eyes I have grown accustomed to.

My girlfriend Clare gave me a smile that put me back into ease. She was dressed in a blue cocktail one-shoulder dress that made her eyes even more amazing. It's been an amazing 6 months with her. We definitely had our share of disagreements and moments of true bliss that I wouldn't change for the world.

In those 6 months we had only but a few encounters with Jake. Now it's just awkward filled glances and when we are forced in the same room the room is always quiet.

The Martin's moved into our house 3 months ago. Jake and I are on opposite sides of the house. Clare and I spend time mostly driving around in the hearse finding new places to explore, at her house, or my aunt's home.

I held my gaze with Clare until my mother and I past her and we reached the Priest. I felt this feeling overwhelming me I couldn't let go of her. I knew I had to let go, so I bent down and kissed the forehead of my mother. I gave her a look I could tell she was crying, I grabbed her hand and handed it Glen. I took my spot right next to my mom I glanced at Jake who was across from me, he was right next to his father. I caught him smiling at his father. Who knows we might have a friendship?

I find the eyes of Clare's and I flash her smirk. She sticks out her tongue and then covers her mouth to cover her soft laughter.

The priest begins to speak,

"We are all gathered here for the joining of Cecelia Goldsworthy and Glen Martin…"

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Clare

…

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…..

Eli loosened his tie; it was fun seeing him all dressed up. Right after the wedding Eli and I made our great escape. I told him we had to stay for the reception and we did up until the awkward eye-contact with Jake and the drunken guests asking me when Eli and I are finally getting married. We left right after I caught the bouquet of flowers.

Now here we are on the roof of Morty in the middle of a forest, the roses I caught lay right beside me. I have never been happier. The mask that took me years to build broke down so quickly whenever I was with Eli. Eli pulled me closer to him and I can smell his cologne….he never wears it. I kiss the crook of his neck. Eli lets out a small moan and his hand rests on the lower part of my back. Last month Eli and I made love…and it was everything I wanted and it was a thousand times better than I imagined. I have never felt closer to someone in my life.

I know I am young but honestly it truly doesn't get any better than this.

Eli interrupted my thoughts,

"I love you Clare Goldsworthy."

I lean in and smile and get really close to him before replying,

"I like the sound of that."

I paused then I replied with

"I love you, Eli Goldsworthy."

And on that note, I kissed him. My world stopped spinning and everything was calm.

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…

**Now I am officially done.**

**Can't wait to start new stories and probably some one-shots!**


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